Sunday, May 16, 2010

A Wonderful Visit

My daughter came for a visit yesterday. Usually she stops for a few minutes after work and is off to her own home. But yesterday, she came down for 3+ hours. It was TOTALLY unexpected and I was home alone. (Horrible as this sounds -- I didn't have to share her.) We were able to talk, laugh, and just be.

I know it doesn't sound like much. But, today's reality of our relationship and where it was 6 months ago are so vastly different that it isn't even recognizable as the same relationship.

Oh, the fights, tension, and DRAMA. I (we) were so against her moving out. Her boyfriend wasn't what we wanted for her. The college issues (and grades) were at the top of *our* priorities. Do you see the pattern here? What *WE* wanted was more important than what she wanted. BIG MISTAKE! I know we had her best interests at heart, but we were overlooking Courtney's interests.

She wanted to be with her boyfriend, go to work and college. And pretty much in that order.

I'm glad she stuck to her guns -- don't ANY of you EVER tell her I said that! She needed to grow up and we needed to let her. She wasn't our *little* girl anymore.

Today we talk, laugh, and are able to be around each other. We respect each other more and are becoming friends. And that is where we both need to be. I don't need to be her mommy. She needs me to be her friend now.

My husband though still thinks she is 9 and needs him to protect her. And this boyfriend just isn't going to do it right - don't ya know. Sometimes I think men have it even harder when their little girls grow up. They just don't want to let it go. They get along, but there is a distance they both feel and they don't know what to do with it.

Any suggestions?

Sorry about dropping this here -- I didn't tell you much about the visit -- but that is ok.

Thanks for listening - Smiles - Denise

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